Finding Yourself Through Loss

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There are very few people on earth over the age of 18 that haven’t experienced the loss of a loved one whether through death or break-up. Even if you are in an ideal relationship, unexpected things can occur and there will times that you find yourself feeling utterly alone. It’s important to remember that grief is common and is a normal feeling in reaction to loss. Although this is one of the most challenging experiences in life, recently studies have shown that these moments can be an unexpected and fulfilling growth experience.

Be here for you!

Whether you’ve been recently widowed or are just coming from a breakup, you have to reevaluate who you are and take steps to move forward. If you were married and you’ve been off your game for a while – you’ve neglected a stack of mail, been out of touch with friends, etc. – start making progress one task at a time. If you find yourself left with paperwork and financial issues to handle, get organized. If your girlfriend or boyfriend left you, it’s time to recognize and respect your self worth. Place your health and fitness at the front line. Often while in a long term relationship people tend to get comfortable with themselves and think they aren’t date worthy anymore. Getting yourself into good physical shape with an improved diet will give you the confidence and positivity you need.

Remember: don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re human and going through a lot. You may be tempted to give in to junk food, alcohol, or drugs, but this will ultimately make your life harder. Don’t forget, you’re responsible for your own happiness, so it’s you who has to take action!

 

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The Healing of the Inside is the Hardest Part

“Mourning the loss of a close friend or relative takes time”, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), “but research tells us that it can also be the catalyst for a renewed sense of meaning that offers purpose and direction to life.”

  • Talk about the loss of your loved one with friends and colleagues in order to understand what happened and remember your friend or family member. Denying the loss is an easy way to isolate yourself, and will frustrate your support system in the process.
  • Accept your feelings. People experience all kinds of emotions after the loss of someone close. Sadness, anger, frustration and even exhaustion are all normal.
  • Celebrate the lives of your lost love.  Frame photos of fun times, passing on a family name to a baby or planting a garden in memory. What you choose is up to you, as long as it allows you honor that unique relationship in a way that feels right to you. If you feel stuck or overwhelmed by your emotions, it may be helpful to talk with a licensed psychologist or other mental health professional who can help you cope with your feelings and find ways to get back on track.

Take Your Time

While it’s essential to move forward, it isn’t smart to take on the world all at once. Start out with something small like getting regular sleep, or taking short walks to de-stress while providing moderate exercise. Even though everyone grieves in different ways and over different periods of time, most individuals will pull through their loss on their own, with support from their social circle, healthy habits and the passage of time.

We are resilient by nature.  Most people can endure loss and then move forward with their lives. A few may struggle with grief for longer and feel unable to carry out daily activities, but make sure you know that eventually everything will feel better.